When furniture attacks

I’ve had my fair share of bumps and bruises. I’ve cracked my nose by faceplanting on a friend’s walkway, scraped my knees, sprained my middle finger, and suffered from chronic knee injuries and other body pains. But never in my life have I actually broken a bone. I’ll be 23 years old in May and I’m going through my first broken bone experience.

And it sucks.

On Thursday night, I was in the middle of an “Avatar: The Last Airbender” mini-marathon (I’ve been watching the series all week, from beginning to end, for the first time) and got out of bed to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and go through my usual nightly routine. As I was getting back into bed, I stubbed the pinky toe on my right foot on one of the solid wood blocks that hold up parts of my bed frame. I heard a loud SNAP and said to AR (whom I was talking to on Skype), “I think I just broke my toe.”

We agreed that I was probably overreacting (as I do) and I went to bed in pain, but not too concerned.

toeThen I went to work on Friday. And as we all know, I work retail. Being a manager figure in a retail establishment requires a lot of walking. It also requires a lot of standing. For the majority of my shift on Friday, I felt like crying — purely because my toe hurt so fucking bad. My mom suggested I pick up some medical tape on the way home and it was a good thing she did, because when I took off my death traps  shoes and socks, my toe was swollen to three times its usual size (and I have pudgy toes, let me tell you) and bruised all around.

As you can see in the photo (see? sausage toes, I told you), the inside curve of my toe is completely bruised. As you cannot see in the photo, the crease where my toe bends is a mottled black line. So that SNAP I heard Thursday night? Yeah. That sound was my toe breaking.

I sent this photo to AR, whose mom is a nurse. She told me to “buddy tape” my toe to the next one in order to keep it straight (thanks for the suggestion of medical tape, Mom!), keep it elevated, and ice it for twenty minutes at a time (with twenty minute gaps off ice in between). I learned how to “buddy tape” via YouTube.

This weekend, I was lucky enough to spend two days hanging out with a friend watching “Teen Wolf” and drinking frozen mudslides, my foot propped up and iced. But today I had to go back to work. It was agonizing. I sought out my manager to request permission to just wear a sock on my right foot for now, while my toe heals, because my shoes are so uncomfortable that I end up crying and snapping at people more often than is healthy (even for retail).

The moral of the story: when furniture attacks, you break toes.

Alternately: next time, remember where your furniture is located and try not to kick it.

When furniture attacks

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